[x]

Interrupted

.
.
.
Oh.

Hi.
I didn’t realize you’d be here.

I was just going to …
Well, no. Honestly, I don’t know what I was going to do.
I just…

I was thinking of you and how much I missed you.
how much I lost
You were very dear to me, back ... back before I did that thi

Feel the Words TwistingI killed a man today.
Neither with metal nor nylon,
but with words sharper than any blade.

I crushed his joy with a well placed scoff.
I broke his spirit as I spat on his hard toiled success.
I ground him beneath my heel with accusations of theft.
I stole his last breath with a stinging backhanded compliment.

I am Jealousy.
I am Pain.
I am Unforgotten and Unforgivable.

Sticks and stones may break my bones
but cutting words kill forever.

Addiction

I can’t stop shooting you up.
I jam the needle of promise in quickly forcing your liquid words home.
I hold my breath for an instant letting your sticky verbs wash over me.
It’s been too long since my last fix and I savor as much as I can before your power takes over.
Finally, your seeking terms dirty me up properly; my head teeters and my eyes roll back.
I can feel you.
Feel you!
Reality fades as you take control of my thoughts and my poetry.
Passion burns my flesh while ice gnaws at my gut.
My blood boils as my bones dance outside my body.
I taste sweat and pain.
I see blood and guts oozing as I offer

Never AloneI’m not alone.
Never alone.
  Inside my head you whisper words.

Of hate.
Of love.
Of life.
Of death.

Don’t get me wrong.
Just because I hear you does not mean I follow through.

It keeps me alive
They keep me alive.
Lets me know I’m alive.

Just because I think about it doesn’t make me stupid.

Instead you give me my own form of release.

Letting you say those things lets me be apathetic.

Does that make sense?

I can’t feel but you can.
So I let you scream,
                   &

I wasn't alwaysI wasn't always so cold,
I used to be warm and tender,
But that was before ...

My heart used to race,
at an unusual pace.
Now it lumbers slowly.

I used to love the spring,
with it's songs of life and promise.
Now everyday is winter.

I remember those hot nights,
when everything felt so right.
Now your side of the bed is cold.

At least it matches my heart.

50 ways to leave your lover

-Icicle in the temple or eye socket.
-Sucking on your candy cane until it is at a fine point then ramming it into a lover's eye or temple. (Similar to icicle but with that special sugary rush.)
~
-While putting together your child's new bike, complete with snazzy tassels on the handlebars and irritating bell, 'accidentally' ramming the screwdriver in your loved one's chest {What was that, dear? I'm sorry I can't hear you over the BIG SUCKING HOLE IN YOUR CHEST. MWUAHAHAha... ha. Ehem. sorry. If you could stop bleeding for a moment and hand me that last

Break my HeartThe tears of a child.
The end of a civilization.
Unstoppable suffering.
The wingless butterfly.
The marred masterpiece.
Disappointment in a mother’s eyes.
Selfish cruelty.
A needless death.
Merci Killings.

I Saw YouI saw you today,
standing alone in a crowd of people.
I tried to say hello
but something caught my eye.
When I looked back
you were gone.

---

I saw you in the café
with your notebook
and your half drunk coffee,
lost in your own sadness.
I tried to smile
but you wouldn’t look up

---

I saw you walking alone,
thinking no one notice
or even cared.
I approached
but you took a different path.

---

I saw you today,
staring out the window,
the whole world upon your shoulders.
Our eyes met.

My heart broke.

I had wanted to speak words of hope;
To offer encouragement and tell
of a promise of a better tomorro

Blood Stained BlackFresh blood stained black sheets.
  The day my life ended.
  The day it began.

Years later, with the proof of my becoming still upon my neck,
  you tenderly pet my hair as I kneel every night at your feet.
Affection fills my cold dark heart
  but that doesn’t change the fact
I was not the first to be
  blood stains on your smooth black sheets.

Despite your sweet lies, I also know I was not the last.

To Dance With My Love Forever                                You are so beautiful.

                           I could watch you for hours.

Ice's Heart

My shape is perfect
but I am flawed
for I feel nothing.
   No pain
   No love
   Nothing

Yet today I watched you watching me.

You stood before me and I wondered …

How would it feel?

A brush of your hand
An invitation of a smile
A dance across the floor
Your body against mine
The beating of your heart

Before your heated heart would melt mine,
Could I,
if just for a moment
truly
feel?

Twisted PeaceI am the unexpected shiver on a sunny day. The catch in your breath when there should be only laughter.

Darkened eyes settle longingly over happy scenes, as I sit alone here on this bench, lost in a world altogether distant.

Transposed and misplaced I am merely a fragment of what you knew.

Sunlight races across fields of green, but all I see is the shadows as they sway and dance to untimely rhythms.

There is only grey here. I miss the colors; even black would be a welcome relief from the dull haze.

The wind blows softly, cooling in its passing the heat of the day, but all I feel is the deadened weight of my heart.

My tears are gone, l

Contradition of ConditionsA Contradiction of Catastrophic Conditions

Tumultuous as a flash summer storm I am spilt out;
the permanent stain on your otherwise spotless record.

Filled with great need but empty as the vast chasm
I am the choice you want to ignore but never can forget.

Shattered from your carelessness,
Desolate from your departure,
Uneven from the merciless tears in my spirit,
and Undone from the sudden incompleteness left behind.

Never will I be fully healed
and yet
every day I give thanks for the damage you fashioned.

One day Men of knowledge will say I could have said no and then they will argue why I did not. There will be n

CRANK IT UPOh honey let's crank up the volume,
let's work it up, speed up the beat.
Drown me in the sounds of your screaming
while I struggle to stay on my feet.
Lose me in your echoing laughter
or sob me into submission,
I'll pump up the bass and quicken the pace
if you'll only give your permission.

I can feel it in my bones,
I can hear it in my soul,
My voice is raw from my cacophonied exaltation
Drunk on the music, 2 brokens become whole.
I have found you, my intoxication.
I have found peace in the magnified sound.
I cannot give what was never taken away.
Only if the music swallows us can we drown.

Let's break it down into phras

2nd of 7

Just because I told you no, does not mean I stopped wanting.
Just because I looked away, does not mean I no longer see you.
Just because I speak harshly, does not mean I think cruelly.

Like the acorn, things are not always as they seem.

Until now, I was able to stand my ground
Until now, I was the solid oak, sure in my unrelenting choice.

Until you whimpered.

Even the mightiest of trees eventually must bow to the wind

My breath caught in my throat.
My heart beat loud enough to hear.
My mind screamed to run but my feet were immovable.
My eyes watched you intently while my lips parted in lust.

Sweet candy tempts me.
Urg

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Burning Need to BleedI’m burning from the inside out.
Begging you to touch me and praying you wont.
If you get too close the façade will crumble.
One little spark and I’m going up in flames.

I crave you as I fear your burn,
With one kiss, me you could own.
Everything I am depends on me to stay away,
But I was never really good at keeping myself safe.

So I dance closer and feel the burn
I have scars and now marks that will become more.
Do you even know the payment for our touch?
Or am I on my own in the knowledge of the consequences?

Is this game we play only right for me?
Wrong for you It may be, though I'm unable to break free.
The s

My Green DragonI watch.

You cross the floor.
His face lights up at your approach.
You smile and kiss his cheek.
Delighted he wraps an arm around you, hugs you close and kisses you with passion.

That’s when I feel it.
Pain shooting through my body and it is all I have to not drop to my knees.
Tears are in my eyes as I turn and flee.

I barely make it to the bathroom to check my wound but as I pull my hand away I can see there is no blood on my hand.

In the mirror I can see the green dragon glaring back at me, tinged smoke pouring from his nose.
I see the truth now.
He must have been gnawing at me for days, maybe weeks.
He&

Dripping in GreenJealous
             of your words.
                 the dice you roll.
                 secretly shared glances.
                 the itch on boyish hands.
                 butterfly feminine lashes.

Or SomethingIt’s all gloomy out.
I wanna be reading at home under a blanket or something
I wanna drink hot cocoa by the fire or something
I wanna make sweet cookies or something
I wanna stay in bed all day and do nothing or something.
I wanna watch the rain drizzle down the window pane or something.
I wanna be nice and warm or something.

Mama Wayne is watchingOh Bruce, where has your humanity gone?
What lies are whispered to continue on?
Where's the sweet boy who once held me hand?
What terrible hates doth command?

Where is the precious boy I cradled close?
What evil has drawn thee to such throws?
My dear Brucie, where is your mother to wipe your brow?
Why can’t I be where you need me now?

How can I apologize for leaving you so cold?
When I whispered be strong I didn’t mean this bold.
How can I help my dear blessed child?
How can I pull you from this crazy place wild?

A tear from above,
A reminder of mother’s love.
A touched of a mother’s hand
to offer peace to

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[x]

Scribbled Out

by ~EatingMyOwnFears, Apr 26, 2009, 10:25:32 PM
Literature / Poetry / Human Nature / Free Verse

I've been scribbled out ~ lost it all in the fight ~
at one point I even forgot what I was fighting for.

But I do know this: they are all gone. I am not sure if I just misplaced my pencil or someone else won my words ~ as if they are stapled to some random wall with a pretty blue ribbon and I am left with an honorable mention plaque made from Paper Mache.

Or maybe it is me that is scribbled out. Someone has taken their dulled pencil in fist and rubbed the paper raw, rubbed it right through until all that is left is a huge hole and the desk is covered with a thick layer of lead.

Is that all I am? lead on plywood? Someone's stick figure to delete at their whim?

I don’t know.

It’s been one of those days … weeks … years…

She promises it will get better.

Or she would if she knew how to word it without coming across cliché.

Either way I understand. That part at least. The rest … well I’m going to see if I can find a new pencil and start from there.

Scribbled Outby ~EatingMyOwnFears

Literature / Poetry / Human Nature / Free Verse

I'm fine.

Really.

I've just ... been there.

Just wish I could have/would have something more than just agreeing.

Edit 20091018: Special thanks to ~DontStopTheRain for use of her icon

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~looFsydoboN Dec 25, 2009 Writer

The icon fits very well. Wonderful, poignant piece.

~EatingMyOwnFears Dec 26, 2009

thank you so much!

~IsabellaMichel Oct 30, 2009 Student Writer

Nice piece.

It really had a nice flow to it, but still sad.

~EatingMyOwnFears Oct 30, 2009

Thank you, sweetie!

*razzigyrl Oct 19, 2009 Professional Artisan Crafter

For some reason this brings to mind an old story of yours (i think it was yours) The person writing the journal... I can't remember most of it, just that they seemed to be unsure of their own perceptions...

!yoJ

~EatingMyOwnFears Oct 19, 2009

this particular one was actually from April. I just updated it with the new picture.

!DontStopTheRain Oct 19, 2009

No problem

The poems really nice btw, your really good at writting stuff people can relate to ^^

DontStopTheRain

~EatingMyOwnFears Oct 19, 2009

thanks!!

!DontStopTheRain Oct 19, 2009

^^

DontStopTheRain

~reivax Oct 18, 2009 Student Filmographer

This is neat.

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