Wake up.
Get up, brush teeth.
Discover spider on bathroom wall.
Retrieve tissue to capture spider.
Spider meanders higher on wall.
Go to kitchen to fetch stool.
Upon returning to bathroom, find spider has moved to tub wall.
Have a strange feeling spider is mocking me.
Place stool next to tub, stand on stood, try to reach spider.
Find gum stuck to wall.
Have no idea how that got there but get off stool, head back to kitchen to get knife.
Come back, get up on stool again, pry gum off the wall.
Spot spider has moved to crease of wall and ceiling.
One foot on stool, one foot on wall for balance, reaching for spider with tissued hand.
Swear the spider flips me off as it moves to ceiling and begins to boldly cross above me.
Reach for spider one more time.
Not going to let cocky spider get best of me.
Too late.
Loose balance, compensating very wrongly.
Foot slips off wall.
Foot slips off stool.
Chin hits wall.
Toothbrush still in mouth gets rammed into the back of throat.
Flailing hand jams knife into arterial vein at neck just as shin hits porcelain tub.
Die in bloody bathtub mess.
Last thought being of disapointment because spider won.

Spider watches from it’s high perch and goes on to become wealthy writer for Hollywood Happenstance Horror Flicks.

Stupid spider.